You'll Laugh

Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought

Hahahah, wow, very nice.

Yes I Love these, I don't have time to read them all now but I will add a few later.

Giraffs Were Created When Chuck Norris Uppercutted A Horse

will chamberlin claimed to have slept with over 2,000 women, chuck norris calls this a slow tuesday.


man will chamberlin must be rubbin dry now

[brentbizzle]

This chuck norris crap has been floating around the net foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever.

yep hes already been accepted as one of the many rulers of the web.

This chuck norris crap has been floating around the net foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever.

Yea if u search find chuck norris and hit "im feeling lucky" you'll get a big surprise

I don't get why people worship Chuck Norris.

His shows are cheesy, his movies sucked when compared with other action heroes (Stallone, Schwarzenegger) and the Total Home Gym system he sponsors is a rip off for the money.

The only good movie Chuck was in he got his a$$ whooped fast by Bruce Lee and would have got his A$$ whooped fast by Bruce Lee in real life too!


Nice shiner you earned there Chucky!

hes so cheesy its excellent. like a good bad movie

[DarkPacMan77]

The only good movie Chuck was in he got his a$$ whooped fast by Bruce Lee and would have got his A$$ whooped fast by Bruce Lee in real life too!

To be honest... anyone would have got their donkey kicked by him Bruce Lee lol. If I was about to fight him, I wouldn't even feel safe bringing an ak47 at 20 feet away even if he was butt naked.

-DarkPacMan77-

In a real fight I wonder who would win between 20 year old Mike Tyson and Bruce lee. Both were fast and both were incredibly powerful in their prime.

[crait]

Bruce Lee could literally punch a man in the stomach and brake 40% of the bones in his body. No joke.


Most men pee their names into snow- Chuck Norris pees his into concrete.
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with his urine.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can kill birds by throwing them off a cliff.

I don't get why people worship Chuck Norris.

His shows are cheesy, his movies sucked when compared with other action heroes (Stallone, Schwarzenegger) and the Total Home Gym system he sponsors is a rip off for the money.

The only good movie Chuck was in he got his a$$ whooped fast by Bruce Lee and would have got his A$$ whooped fast by Bruce Lee in real life too!


Nice shiner you earned there Chucky!

BLASPEMEMY HOW DARE YOU INFIDEL!!!!!!!!!

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no such thing as Evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open!

Chuck Norris is suing NBC because he claims Law and Order are the trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


And Que, its not that we love Chuck Norris it is just that the sayings and humorous. It would be the same if it was Bruce Lee instead. Or even Arnold if he was still pumped.